Lagos

This Lagos Love

What is this repeated request to love you?

I pay the bills don’t I? If that’s not love what is?

The summer vacations

Your nice car & bags

The kids go to great schools

And you always look like a million bucks

That sounds like love to me, babe!

You want to look into my eyes and have soft chit-chat

I wish I could help you but there’s nothing soft about me

Even I, am afraid to look into my own eyes

Search deep into my soul

It is deep and dark plus I don’t even what to go there

This expectation of love…

Love me like this, love me like that

Let’s do dinner, let’s have date night

“Baby, what are you thinking?” With lashes fluttering
“Babe, I am not thinking anything!

I am actually trying not to think

Between the need for rent,

diesel to power the generator,

school fees for the kids,

fuel for the cars, dealing with traffic,  the need to provide for our security and be on my “A” game!

I am currently not thinking and will be happy to keep it that way.”

Love, love, love

Romance, romance, romance

Sometimes I don’t even know what it means

I understand functional

I understand practical

I understand ‘there’s a problem’ and I swoop in to solve it

And because you use too many words

I am not even clear what you mean when you ask for love & romance!

Will you still want to hold my hand, if there was no money in my pockets?

Will you still want to talk with me

If the rent was unpaid and we were on the streets?

Babe, it’s not that I don’t love you

In fact, I would die for you

It’s just more difficult to live for you

When there’s so much pulling at me
The need to be a man in today’s world

With no real example of what a real man is…

Having grown up shielding my heart and hiding my feelings,

What you request of me is strange and hard

It doesn’t seem doable

So babe, since this is the only time I may ever speak on this subject

May I ask you a few questions?

Will you show me how to love you?

Will you tell me gently? And only once?

Will you appreciate when I try even if it’s not as good as you’ll like?

When I’m vulnerable, will you please not use it against me in our next fight?

Will you understand that sometimes watching a game with me or just hanging out as I check the car engine

Means more to me than many hours talking?

It makes me feel like you “feel” me!

Let’s do this together babe

Free of judgement

Let’s do this together babe

I’d like to know you don’t automatically assume the worst of me

Let’s do this together babe

With you also dishing out the patience and kindness you always ask for

Let’s do this together babe

It’ll always be you

But please remember

Just because I can’t love you exactly how you want

Doesn’t mean I love you any less!

And after all this long explanation

If you still don’t feel loved

Babe, make I no lie you

The tin wey you dey find

Na inside yourself you go find am

No be everything man fit give you

Between yourself and God

You go find the answer

Me sef, I still dey look…

P.S

LOL, please don’t ask me questions, it’s just poetry plus I feel like being naughty! Lol! Enjoy your week everyone!

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