Photo courtesy katu.com
Photo courtesy katu.com

Anger is my friend

She is the crackling of wood set ablaze

She burns in oranges, reds and smoulders into grey

Just like the feeling she leaves behind

Fiery and loud

Seeming to offer comfort

A shield for my heart

But will burn if touched

Anger won’t lie still

Always pulsating

Like fiery red molten magma

Burning liquid heat, snaking its way through my brain

She doesn’t visit often

But I always know she’s close by

Crackling quietly under the surface

Just waiting to erupt

A thwack on the face! Boots on ribs! A cutting outburst!

Spewing words told in secret

Just to hurt a friend

Enjoying the power she gives

Enjoying the control- everyone walking on broken, sharp egg shells

Afraid to let her out

I welcomed Anger

Cracked open the door

And whoosh! She engulfed my space

Shrouding the atmosphere in a grey pregnant cloud

Oppressive silence…

Laughter died

And my heart grew colder everyday

As if enclosed in hands made of ice

Anger had caused too much hurt

And held unto too much in turn

Today, Anger and I spoke

I told her she had to leave

Or else I’ll lose my all

The people I love have started to up and leave

Anger smiled “you need me” she said

And laughed a cold menacing laugh as she sunk into my bed!

Now I’m angry with anger, as we tussle for space in my head!

P.S

As part of my efforts at continuous and never-ending improvement (kaizen), I am currently taking an on-line course in Creative Writing with the University of Exeter. Last week, part of our course work was to explore a negative emotion in either poetry or prose and this poem was the result of that. I found this really interesting to write as anger, especially explosive anger as I describe here is not an emotion I would like associated with me and though it is not auto-biographical, it was an eye-opener to go there. To explore the depth of the emotion, the ugliness of it – when not controlled, and to acknowledge how hard it can be to shake off when you have used it as a “shield” for so long.

Ciao! I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please do something for yourself as the year runs out- invest in yourself (it is a great thing when your employers train you but investing in yourself sends a message to your subconscious. It is an internal affirmation of your worth. It increases your commitment to be truly successful as you are personally invested in the process as well), develop a new skill or set a new goal and meet it. Commit to continuous and never-ending improvement  so every time you look back, you are much better now, than you were before.

Don’t forget to be awesome this week.

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